~~*~~*~~***~~*~~*~~

    It was early Saturday morning, but Buffy was up...granted she hadn't
gone to bed the night before, but still, up early on a Saturday morning.
She had spent all night trying to figure it out, and she still didn't know
what to do.  She knew her friend was hurting, not just in her heart like
after Oz had left, but in her soul, her mind, and even her body...just
everything.  Buffy finally decided, and picked up her from, and nervously
dialed Willow's number.

    Willow had still been in a deep, restless sleep when the phone jolted
her out of her unmerciful dreams.  "Hello?"  She yawned into the phone.

    "Hey Wills, it's Buffy.  I'm sorry to wake you up, but there's something
I've got to tell you, I'm just not sure that you're going to want to hear it
.."

    This peaked Willow's interest.  "What is it Buffy?  You know you can
tell me anything right?"  She was still trying to play the part of a good
best friend.  She hoped if she did, her friends would tell her the truth,
but so far, they hadn't.

    "Well, um...last night I did a late night patrol, and well, I...I saw
Spike.  He's back in town."  She didn't mean to sound so un-confident, it
was rare that she ever did, but this was hard to do.

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in
My mind

    Willow's mind closed up.  She went into automatic drive.  She was in
shock.  Finishing her conversation with Buffy, she promised to be very
careful, and then she hung up the phone.  Curling up into a tight, little
ball with the pillows and blankets around her, she clung her teddy bear to
her chest.  Thoughts of  Spike and the memories of their time together
washed over her in rapid procession.

How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again

    She had promised herself, once she had returned, that she wouldn't
remember any of the good times she and Spike had had together.  He hurt her
too much in the end, and thinking of the good times always led her to the
bad ones.  Leaving him, she had left a little part of herself behind with
him.  She tried to stop herself from thinking about it by turning on the
television, but no matter what she did, saw or heard she thought of him, and
Willow's tears began to fall again.

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts
God knows how I've cried

    She could still remember all the nights that she and Spike had spent
together, the way his strong arms had felt around her.  That was one of the
hardest things after leaving, getting used to sleeping alone again.  That
was what the teddy bear was for.  On nights she couldn't get to sleep, she
would cuddle up against the large teddy bear and pretend it was Spike
holding onto her, and her to him.

   And I never want to return
Never fall again
Making love to you felt so good and
Oh so right
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
So here we are alone again

    Her imagination began to run wild, and it was like she could see him in
the room, begging her to come back to him.  Trying to remind her of all the
good times she was locking deep within her heart and head, the kisses they
had shared, including the one that started it all (outside the Bronze) when
he took her away from the badness that was her life.

Didn't think didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come to close to happiness
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall in love again
Kind of late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me

    She could hear Spike's ghost-like form telling her that he still loved
her, that he still craved her, and she swore she was going insane.  She
couldn't do this anymore.  Getting up, she got dressed in what seemed to be
a mix of what Spike had gotten her to wear, and what her friends wanted her
to wear.  It was a simple pair of blue jeans, but they fit her right, and
showed off her shape.  With that she wore a long sleeved, clinging emerald
green shirt that matched Spike's ring (which she hadn't had the willpower to
take off yet).  After dressing, she decided it was time for her to try,
really try, to hang out with her friends, she didn't want to have to admit
to herself that Spike's ghost was right.  She was in love again.

Then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
Hold me hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again

    The dark lady laughed as she watched Willow through the depths of her
crystalline ball again.  Her apparition had worked, things were still on
track and all was going to end right.  The stars had told her so, and they
knew better than to lie.

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